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I love Christmas morning, after all the gifts are opened and the friends, neighbors and extended family visit with one another sharing in the holiday spirit. I especially enjoy asking children and adults, "What did you give for Christmas?" Of course the normal question is "What did you GET for Christmas". I think a lot can be learned from the responses I receive each year even if you do not celebrate Christmas in the traditional sense as I do.
When children are asked what they gave for Christmas, they never really hear the question, they are to excited to tell anyone and everyone who will listen all the details of the great loot they got from Santa! When I pose this question to adults the answer is a little more surprising. Most people just assume they heard the question wrong and answer just like a child - by listing all of the neat stuff they accumulated this year. Really alert, good listeners, will hear the "Give" instead of "Get" and typically become baffled by the question as they struggle to remember what they bought or made for the special people in there lives. If adults struggle with remembering the important "Giving" part of Christmas, how can we teach or children that it really is more important to give than to receive?
Children are born with the "Me syndrome". The world revolves around them and their needs and wants have to come first. This kind of selfishness is normal for small children and the concept of thinking of others has to be taught. Holiday gift giving can be a good opportunity and first step in teaching children selflessness.
Children will enjoy gift giving more if they learn to give of themselves in three ways. They can sacrifice their Time (doing chores to earn the money or offering service coupons as the gift itself) Talents (home-made craft item, writing a poem or making a card) or Money (to purchase the gift).
Planning ahead for gift buying can make the gift more special. (As those of us with Night-Before-Christmas shopping husbands would agree!) Help kids make a list of items that they think that person would enjoy. Young kids can even draw a picture of gift ideas and then explain it to you. This can be a good exercise that can open up a parent/child discussion to help young children recognize others likes and dislikes instead of listing everything they wish they had.
Help children to earn their own gift money. Many moms, including me, have been guilty of just giving my children money to buy gifts for their brothers and sisters or even worse picking out presents for them and even wrapping it for them and signing their name too! Even young children need to be taught how to earn money & how to spend it. I don't suggest making them earn every last penny needed to purchase their gifts but I do think it is the parent's responsibility to teach kids to give of themselves.
Set an example for your children by putting more importance on your own gift giving and this Christmas morning when you see your friends and neighbors, help them remember the most important part of Christmas and ask, "What did you GIVE for Christmas?"
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